Hi, Jennillee!
First of all, I luv the ddoouubbllee spellings in your
name! So I’m applying to be your
Facebook friend! Perchance any openings?
Jennillee! Thank YOU so
MUCH for actually writing back to me. I
can’t tell you how rare that is. Not
that I do this often! I’m not like a
stalker or anything (and anyway, I’m a girl, so go figure). I do understand you
have no availability. I think when you
say “At the present time, Jennillee has no available openings for friends”
that’s pretty clear. I’m just sort of
wondering if I could send you some more cool data about myself, like my SAT
scores or my haircut (a picture, I mean!).
Do you have a waiting list?
Okay, sure, I get it, you STILL have no availability which
is totally, totally cool :-)
But look, maybe you’ll reconsider and hit the refresh button
on your automatic reply if I tell you that I’m like really important on
KLOUT. Like I even got Bill Murray to
tweet me before he passed away. TINAL! (That is not a lie!). So obviously I’m a
person of influence and will RAISE your KLOUT score! How 'bout hitting that 'confirm'? Got to luv my chutzpop!
I am attaching a list of my friends. Maybe it’s that you don’t appreciate just how
popular I am, but 3042 people can’t be wrong!
If you look at my profile, and I hope you will, consider two things:
one, I’m not a crazy person. Two . . . I
forgot two. But about being crazy, I knew Bill Murray hadn’t died but you
have to admit that he looks like he wants
to be dead in most of his movies.
*
I’m back! I hope you
won’t think I have trouble with boundary issues. I’m just a super friendly person and know it
would be really fun for both of us if you accepted my friend request. Now I don’t want you to freak, but I noticed
your friend count went down by one since last time I wrote. I didn’t want to mention anything at first
because it could just be a glitch and sometimes my number bobs up and down a
little too. Usually, I track down all
3042 friends to see who dropped me and I find the culprit (ha!), but I’m not
like saying everybody does that. Just as a favor, though, I did go through
your list and compared it with the 424 pages of your friend list two days ago that
I printed out and found the problem! It
was Royce McIntyre! He sounds sort of
Irish so maybe he has enough American friends!
I can’t imagine you’d drop him
or any of your friends, but just in case you did (poor Royce!) that means you
have one more opening because now you’re at 4999. Color me Xcited!
*
I looked up “cease and desist” orders and they’re for like
crazy bill collectors and pesky time-share people who hound you until you
bleed. I don’t think you really meant to
send me that message. I just want to be
friends. Is that so bad? If you really think it’s not a good idea, and
you honestly don’t like my little challenge of asking you to guess what
emoticon I’m going to send you on the half hour, I guess I can take a
hint. I’ll just wait for your reply
because I know sometimes that in the heat of the moment I rush to conclusions too and
make rash judgments that I really regret.
:-E (this means vampire! but don’t worry because I’m not really a
vampire and going to suck your blood or anything!!!)
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